Authoritative Parenting: Examples, Effects & Efficacy

Research indicates that parenting significantly influences a child’s emotional and social skills. The methods a parent employs to parent their children can shape their self-esteem, academic performance, emotional stability, and overall sense of well-being and belonging. In essence, the style of parenting adopted is crucial in determining a child’s developmental trajectory.

While there are many different parenting styles, authoritative parenting is a firm yet nurturing approach that delicately balances high expectations with open communication and warmth. Parents who adopt an authoritative style set clear, understood guidelines and expectations, but they also offer encouragement, consistency, and support that their children can count on. 

Children raised in authoritative-style homes tend to thrive — which is why it’s so essential to understand the key aspects of this parenting style. Whether you’re a single mom or dad, or a dual-parent household, learn more about the authoritative parenting style.

What is Authoritative Parenting?

Authoritative parenting is a nurturing approach that skillfully blends firm yet fair discipline with warmth, love, and support, creating a nurturing environment for children. This approach is defined by both high expectations and attentive responsiveness, ensuring that children feel both guided and supported.

Key characteristics of the authoritative parenting style include:

• Setting consistent rules that are clear and easy to understand
• Explaining the rationale behind rules
• Maintaining open communication with children
• Encouraging independence but offering guidance and support along the way
• Fostering a sense of autonomy
• Being attentive to children’s needs and emotions
• Demonstrating understanding and empathy

“Authoritative parenting can teach problem-solving skills in children at a young age and increase their ability to communicate their wants, needs, and emotions. By the time they are adults, they can be skilled with relationships and conflict resolution.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Authoritative parenting differs from the other traditional parenting styles in the following ways:

• Authoritarian parents use strict rules and have high sets of expectations. However, there is little flexibility or compassion between an authoritarian parent and a child. Those who follow the authoritarian parenting style often have obedient children, but they can have low self-esteem and tend to struggle socially.
• Permissive parenting, by contrast, is marked by a parent-child relationship built on high warmth but low demands. Because permissive parents implement few rules and rarely enact consequences, children can struggle with self-discipline and authority.
• Uninvolved parenting features low responses and low demand. Children with uninvolved parents might feel neglected or struggle with emotional and behavioral issues as a result of feeling like their parents don’t care.

Examples of Authoritative Parenting in Action

Authoritative parenting emerges in everyday moments when parents demonstrate firmness with gentle understanding and guidance. This balanced approach resonates in common scenarios that most parents will find familiar and relatable

Struggles with homework

Homework is a common struggle in many households. The nightly battle can lead to distress and frustration for both children and parents. Authoritative parents enforce the need for academic discipline while being understanding and empathetic of a child’s need to relax after a long day at school.

To set clear expectations while offering support, try saying:

• “I understand you want to play, but finishing your homework is important, too. Let’s work together on your assignment for an hour, and then you can have some free time as a reward.”

Conflicts with siblings

Sibling conflict is another frequent issue for parents. Whether children are competing for attention or they’re getting on one another’s nerves, disputes between siblings are normal. Managing conflicts requires patience and an effective communication strategy that emphasizes the importance of harmony and respect in the home.

To encourage communication, problem-solving, and conflict-resolution skills, try saying:

• “I can see you’re both upset. Let’s talk about what happened and figure out a solution together.”

Curfew disagreements

Curfew extension requests often arise as teenagers strive for more independence. It’s natural for them to want more time out with friends without facing consequences. To balance your safety concerns with their desire for freedom, engage in careful negotiation. Establish clear expectations and boundaries for an extended curfew.

To accommodate a desire for independence that’s within your comfort level, try saying:

• “I know you want to stay out later, and I understand why, so let’s discuss a reasonable time we can both agree on that ensures your safety but still offers me peace of mind.”

Screen time limits

Almost every parent can relate to the daunting experience of setting and enforcing screen time limits today. In the digital age, while children and teens need their devices for educational purposes, the effects of social media on teens often draw them into excessive use for entertainment and social interaction. Setting and enforcing limits requires diligence, consistent rules, and creative alternatives to help children learn to monitor technology use and engage in other healthy activities. 

To set boundaries and provide alternative activities for your child, try saying:

• “Your screen time is almost up for today. How about we play a board game or go for a walk after you finish?”

Chores disagreements

Assigning chores and giving children responsibilities teaches them the value of contributing to the household. It equips them with essential life skills, preparing them for independence when they can no longer rely on their parents to do their laundry and dishes every day. Gentle, consistent reminders and encouragement are helpful for ensuring chores are completed.

To emphasize the importance of responsibilities and getting their tasks done, try saying:

• “I need you to make your bed in the mornings. We all must contribute to keeping our house clean.”

Effects of Authoritative Parenting on Children

Authoritative parenting styles have a positive effect on a child’s development by providing a well-rounded and healthy environment for children to grow and make mistakes. Kids raised by authoritative parents often exhibit high levels of self-esteem and develop healthy social skills. They also generally do well in school and can become quite independent. Ultimately, having firm expectations backed up with emotional support gives children the tools they need to succeed.

Social development

Children with an authoritative parent learn to navigate social situations with confidence and respect. As a result, they are likely to form healthy relationships with their peers and adults. This parenting style encourages cooperative and collaborative behavior and emphasizes healthy conflict-resolution skills, making children more equipped to navigate social interactions.

Academic achievement

Authoritative parenting involves setting high expectations for academic success and then providing ample resources, support, and encouragement for children to achieve. Children tend to do well academically due to their structured, supportive home-life environment.

Self-esteem and independence

An authoritative parenting style can foster self-esteem and independence in children. These parents encourage autonomy but are always on the sidelines, ready to offer guidance and support when needed. 

Children with authoritative parents feel valued and understood, which boosts their sense of self-worth and confidence. Because they can make decisions independently and learn from their experiences (even when things don’t turn out how they hoped), they develop a sense of self-reliance.

“When correcting a child, many of us grew up being shamed. Our parents and teachers thought that by shaming the child, they would not repeat the undesired behavior. Authoritative parenting emphasizes the child’s intelligence and ability to make a different choice, which not only preserves their self-esteem but allows them to feel good about themselves.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Efficacy of Authoritative Parenting Across Cultures

Research has linked authoritative parenting styles to positive outcomes across cultures as well. By many standards, it seems to be a superior style that results in higher academic performance, positive mental health, and more adaptive social skills than authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved parenting styles. Regardless of cultural differences, a balanced approach using high expectations and emotional support can be universally beneficial for child development. 

Implementing Authoritative Parenting Techniques

Authoritative parenting techniques thrive on a foundation of structure and nurturing support.  Establishing clear roles and maintaining open lines of communication are crucial. This approach fosters independence and self-discipline in children. To promote positive growth through an authoritative parenting style, consider the following techniques:

1. Clearly communicate your expectations to your children: Establishing consistent rules and outlining consequences are key. Make sure they’re appropriate for the child’s age and developmental stage. Remember to adapt these guidelines as your child matures and their needs evolve.
2. Make open communication the norm: Always encourage open dialogue with your children. Don’t be upset or frustrated if they want to know why. Explaining the reasons behind your rules and listening to their perspectives is a huge part of the authoritative parenting structure.
3. Be warm and supportive: This doesn’t mean letting your children walk all over you. Warm and supporting environments can have boundaries and rules. It just means you have empathy and take the time to understand what your children go through. Offering them emotional support will help them navigate their life challenges.
4. Encourage independence and autonomy: Allowing children to make their own choices — within set boundaries — will foster their sense of autonomy.
5. Offer positive reinforcement: Praise and reward should be regularly practiced in your home. Catch them doing something right as often as possible, and reward good behavior to reinforce the idea that it’s noteworthy and appreciated.  
6. Implement fair discipline: It is essential to have fair and consistent consequences for breaking rules or disobeying. It ensures children know and respect that you’ll follow through.

Tips for maintaining balance in your home:

• Be consistent
• Stay flexible
• Model healthy and positive behaviors
• Make open communication a priority
• Combine structure with nurturing and loving support

Learn to Be a Better Parent with Expert Advice

Authoritative parenting positively impacts a child in multiple ways. Children raised in this type of household can have better self-esteem, academic performance, and social skills.  

Being a good parent can be challenging, especially if you’re new to having kids. Therapy can be an excellent resource for enhancing parenting skills and developing valuable coping techniques. It provides personalized support and tips that can help you navigate the challenges of parenthood. 

Talkspace makes therapy convenient, offering access to licensed online therapists who are experienced and qualified to help you become the best version of your parent-self. Explore the benefits of therapy by contacting Talkspace today.