How to Help Someone With Anxiety: 16 Ways

1. Educate Yourself About Anxiety

The first step in how to help someone with anxiety is to try to understand it. More than 40 million American adults live with chronic anxiety. It’s the most commonly experienced mental health condition in the US. Though it’s a highly treatable condition, sadly only about one-third of those with an official anxiety disorder diagnosis receive the anxiety treatment they need to manage their symptoms and live a full life.

There are various types of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder (SAD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), to name a few.

Education is key if we want to get better at anything in life. This is especially true when looking for ways to help a loved one deal with the mental or physical symptoms of their chronic anxiety. It can be extremely helpful to learn as much as possible about how to help someone with anxiety disorder. You can start by teaching yourself about what causes anxiety, common symptoms of anxiety, and effective management techniques.

Don’t just learn by yourself, either. Learn alongside the anxious person who you’re hoping to help. They need to know just as much information about their condition as you do. It might be helpful if they learn about some lifestyle changes that might help them decrease the frequency and intensity of their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

2. Learn the Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety manifests in different ways in different people. However, there are similar symptoms that can co-occur. While the following isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, it does represent some of the most common symptoms associated with anxiety. People with anxiety often experience:

• Repetitive feelings of intense fear, panic, or nervousness
• Constantly feeling wound up or on-edge
• Restlessness and jitteriness
• Fast or irregular heartbeat
• Quick, shallow breathing
• Angina (chest pains)
• Being easily startled
• Trouble sleeping
• Headache
• Nausea

People with chronic anxiety may also experience muscle tightness, dry mouth, sweating, irritation, overgeneralizing, and a sense of impending doom. They may feel that the worst is always about to happen, even if there’s no logical reasoning for that type of anxious feeling. At times, they may even experience a panic attack.

3. Be Careful of What You Say

When speaking to someone with anxiety, choosing your words carefully is essential. Avoid phrases that minimize their feelings, such as “just relax” or “it’s all in your head.” Instead, use supportive language that acknowledges their experience, such as “I’m here for you” or “You’re not alone in this.” Understanding the impact of your words can help prevent exacerbating their anxiety and instead foster a supportive environment.

4. Listen to & Validate Their Feelings

It’s important to make sure you’re able to listen and validate feelings if a loved one with anxiety is seeking reassurance from you. They may seem to want you to legitimize their anxious feelings. That said, reassurance may not be what they really need. On the contrary, continual reassurance might exacerbate and prolong their symptoms.

Sometimes, it’s better to point out that you recognize their need for reassurance while still gently pointing out that nothing seems to be going on to justify how they’re feeling.

Acknowledging feelings and sharing that you understand that they’re anxious is helpful. You can also share that you don’t want to make them more anxious in the long run by constantly offering reassurance about things that don’t seem to be true.

Follow up by suggesting natural remedies for anxiety and techniques for better managing symptoms — things like:

• Deep breathing exercises for anxiety
• Getting some physical exercise
• Engaging in mindfulness meditation
• Getting out in nature
• Receiving professional help from a professional therapist

5. Learn How You Can Best Support Them

Each person with anxiety may need different types of support depending on their individual experiences and symptoms. Ask them directly how you can best support them, whether it’s through listening, driving them to therapy sessions, or helping them with daily tasks. This not only helps in providing the right kind of support but also empowers them by giving them a say in their care process.

6. Know What to Avoid

Of course, you don’t want to do anything that might cause anxious thoughts or symptoms to become more frequent or intense. You just want to soothe your loved ones so they’ll feel better and more relaxed, but it can be helpful to know what to avoid, too.

Avoid the following if you have a loved one with anxiety:

• Bringing them  into situations that you know can trigger their anxiety, such as crowded spaces or overly stimulating environments. 
• Making sudden changes to plans, as this can unsettle someone with anxiety. 
• Discussing topics known to increase their anxiety, especially without prior warning. 

Staying away from surprises and maintaining a calm, predictable environment can significantly reduce anxiety triggers. It’s also important to recognize when to give them space. Sometimes, the best support is knowing when to step back.

7. Don’t Be a Know-it-all

Don’t act like a mental health professional unless you are one. You could, however, suggest some methods that have worked for others to help alleviate anxiety symptoms. You can also do some research with your friend or loved one to try and find out how to deal with anxiety. Remember, what works for one person might not work for another; always approach suggestions with humility and openness to feedback. 

While it’s important to share insights, ensure that these are not delivered as absolutes. Encourage open dialogue where your friend or loved one feels comfortable expressing their feelings and reactions to your suggestions. This is not about fixing them but supporting them in finding what works best for them.

8. Don’t Blindly Give Reassurance

Despite feeling like you might be helping, as we touched on above, continuous reassurance about everything can actually have a negative impact and feed somebody’s anxiety level. Frequent reassurance can prevent them from developing their own coping mechanisms, so it’s better to guide them towards strategies for managing anxiety independently. 

Encourage them to validate their feelings and confront anxieties with practical, self-led strategies. This helps them build resilience against anxiety triggers and allows them to identify when they might be seeking reassurance as a temporary relief rather than a solution.

9. Don’t Feed Into Feelings of Doom

It’s important that you’re careful not to feed into the things someone has anxious feelings about. A good question to ask someone who has a consistent and intense fear of doom is, “Who told you that? ” Reinforcing their fears or confirming their worries without evidence only serves to deepen the anxiety cycle, making it harder for them to see the situation realistically. 

Try to steer conversations towards facts and realities, gently correcting misconceptions and offering perspectives that ground their thoughts in reality. By acknowledging their fears without feeding into them, you help build a foundation for overcoming these feelings. Encourage them to focus on positive, constructive outcomes rather than worst-case scenarios.

10. Don’t Hide Your Real Feelings to Protect Your Friend

Let your friend know that you’re there for them. Admit if you don’t know the best course of action to help them feel better. Be willing to explore current research and effective techniques for minimizing the frequency and intensity of anxiety symptoms. 

Being transparent about your feelings can create an atmosphere of trust and honesty, which is crucial for effective communication and support. It’s important to maintain your authenticity, as this can provide a stable, reliable base for your loved one.

11. Don't Put Pressure On Them

It’s important not to rush someone with anxiety to get better or to push them into situations they’re not comfortable with. Respect their pace and recognize that recovery from anxiety is a gradual process. Encouraging small steps and celebrating those achievements can make a significant difference without overwhelming them.

12. Share Helpful Tips & Resources for Anxiety

It might feel overwhelming to try and figure out how to help someone with severe anxiety. It’s OK if you’re not sure exactly where to start. Even if your loved one has already explored on their own, there are so many mental health resources you can suggest to help them. This can include on-topic books, articles, apps, online groups, podcasts, and radio and television shows.

Here are a few authoritative mental health resources that can be very helpful:

• National Institute of Mental Health
• Anxiety and Depression Association of America
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Anxiety is such a common mental health condition that there are tons of resources out there for anyone trying to navigate their healing.

13. Encourage Them to Find Treatment

The good news is anxiety is a very treatable condition. In many cases, adopting new lifestyle choices about where you focus, what you eat, how much exercise you get, and other controllable factors in life can help reduce symptoms to a manageable point. This is an attainable goal for most people who experience excessive anxiety.

Yet there are some cases where mental or physical symptoms can become so frequent, severe, and debilitating that professional help is needed for anxiety treatment. A mental health professional can offer information and treatment options that are useful in how to treat anxiety. It’s all part of knowing how to help an anxious person with anxiety disorder.

As a friend or loved one of a person with anxiety, it’s not always in your power to help as much as you might like to. Use your best judgment and encourage professional therapy for anxiety if needed. The right treatment options can ensure that anxiety symptoms are reduced enough to allow someone to return to normal life.

14. Introduce Mindfulness Meditation

The many advantages of mindfulness meditation for anxiety should not be underestimated. Meditation offers powerful benefits for all people, especially those living with mental health conditions like chronic anxiety. Meditation can help someone learn to analyze their anxious thoughts as they occur and then take proactive steps to get a handle on their anxiety management.

15. Share Other Holistic Remedies

There are multiple age-old, proven techniques to help alleviate anxiety symptoms. Consider one of the following natural remedies for anxiety:

• Taking a hot Epsom salt bath
• Diffusing some relaxing essential oils
• Practicing deep breathing
• Attending a hot-Yoga session
• Engaging in a water-only fast
• Burning candles
• Simply stepping outside and breathing in the fresh air

16. Remember to Take Care of Yourself Too

Loving someone who’s affected by chronic anxiety can be challenging at first. This is especially true when it comes to dating someone with anxiety; navigating their emotional needs and communication patterns can be complex. Keep in mind, though, you can only love somebody so much before you need to take a break and recharge your own batteries. Don’t be afraid to practice some self care on your own mental wellbeing, too. This is an important and helpful thing to remember at any time in life, especially if you’re trying to learn how to help someone with anxiety disorder. If your loved one is suffering from chronic anxiety, it may be time for them to seek treatment from a mental health professional. Talkspace offers online therapy geared toward those who want help, but might have trouble finding the time. Have a loved one get connected with the help they need at Talkspace.