Many of us view boredom as a bad thing, but can we switch our mindsets and actually see it as a good thing?

Why Boredom Can Be a Good Thing

Hear us out: boredom can be good for you. “Boredom can be a great indicator that we need to recharge but still be engaged,” says Talkspace provider Elizabeth Derickson, MSW, LCSW. “Being bored is like our brains telling us it has the energy to do something, but it wants to do something fun.”

Since the feeling of boredom can weigh heavy on us, it can also serve as motivation to get up and actually do something! Research backs this up. A 2019 study referred to boredom as a “little-known way to spark creativity,” after finding that in study participants, boredom increased productivity and idea generation. 

Basically, when we’re bored, we’re lacking stimulation in one way or another. Motivation to get rid of the boredom causes us to seek stimulation, and that’s where the good stuff comes from.

How to Cure Boredom 

Many of us try to cure boredom the same way: by turning on Netflix and mindlessly binge-watching a show while simultaneously scrolling through our social media feeds. Despite this “stimulation,” we’re usually still left feeling bored and even empty. Why? These activities aren’t actually very engaging.

Derickson says that there’s certainly a time and place for long naps and binge-watching, but they usually are not the best cures for boredom. She encourages clients to think of activities that can engage our minds or bodies, that are enjoyable and active. You want to find activities that get you occupied and in a flow. When you’re actively engaged, you’ll notice that boredom just isn’t a feeling anymore. 

Can’t figure out what you should be doing? Derickson has some advice. “If you are really stuck on ways you can get into the flow, think back about things you did as a kid,” she says. “Did you color, do puzzles, or listen to music? For many of us, the things we did as a kid are natural ways to cure that boredom.”

There isn’t a universal way to cure boredom (sorry!) because what’s enjoyable for one person might be boring to the next. Finding what cures your boredom might take some trial and error, so you will need to have some patience when it comes to finding your personal cure. But once you find the activities that work for you, it will be worth it. 

It may also be hard to find the motivation to get up and do something when you’re so used to just drowning yourself in TV shows and Instagram. After all, engaging in an activity does take more effort than sitting on the couch and rewatching every season of Friends for the third time. Hype yourself up and remind yourself that in order to cure your boredom, you need to stop doing the usual. It’s time to think outside the box, deviate from the norm, and get those gears of yours turning. 

Here are three guidelines for curing boredom:

• Figure out what you’re craving
  Derickson suggests asking yourself, “Do you need to move and be more physically active or do you need to be engaging in a cognitive sense?” Take it from there — maybe you need to go for a hike; maybe you need to find a particularly immersive novel to disappear into.
• Be curious
  Allow yourself to wonder about new things. Open up your mind and welcome curiosity as a positive tool. What have you always been interested in? What is something that you’ve always wanted to learn?
• Don’t be afraid to be a beginner
  Escaping boredom can lead us to try brand new things, things that we’ve never thought of trying before. The fear of failing or not doing something perfectly can hold us back from trying new things. However, embrace being a beginner and approach the situation as a great opportunity to learn. 

20 Different boredom busters 

Still in need of ideas? Don’t worry — we’ve got plenty for you. Whether you prefer to be mentally active, physically active, or both, here are 20 ideas you can do by yourself or with others in your household.

1. Coloring
2. Paint by numbers
3. Needlepoint and embroidery
4. Journaling
5. Reading a book
6. Researching a topic you’re interested in
7. Learning a new language
8. Working out
9. Doing yoga
10. Meditating
11. Going for a walk or run
12. Building Lego sets
13. Cooking or baking
14. Video chatting or calling friends and family members
15. Playing interactive online games with friends 
16. Listening to a podcast
17. Taking an online course
18. Doing puzzles
19. Creating home projects for yourself
20. Playing an instrument

This is by no means an exhaustive list! There’s so much you can do today — yes, by yourself, and yes, at home. 

So next time you’re feeling bored, remind yourself that boredom can be a good thing — it may be the thing to motivate you to take on a new challenge, get active, or take on a novel pursuit. Allow yourself to let ideas flow freely. Boredom and the resulting motivation and curiosity can take you to places you’ve never been before.

The post Why Boredom Can Be a Good Thing and How to Utilize It appeared first on Talkspace.

There was a fall in daily global CO2 emissions during lockdown, for example, and perhaps as importantly, people are now more aware of the seriousness of the climate crisis. There has been a reduction in crime, road accidents, and even paper use. The Venice canals cleared up, wildlife is returning to cities, companies are stepping up their social responsibility, education has been transformed and volunteering has soared. 

It can be difficult to see the silver linings during serious and catastrophic disasters. And yet, being able to find the opportunity in a crisis can have huge benefits for our mental well-being and personal lives. 

Sit With Difficult Emotions

First of all, it’s important to note that taking something positive from a difficult situation doesn’t mean burying our heads in the sand or ignoring the dire reality of a situation. 

Unlike toxic positivity, seeing opportunity during times of crisis does not mean suppressing unpleasant emotions. You can and should acknowledge and process all your feelings when a disaster or challenge happens. Seeing the opportunity means then reframing what the incident means in the story of our lives and what we might be able to do with it. 

Accept That Crisis Will Happen

You’ve probably heard that frustrating-but-true maxim that the only constant in life is change. Crises are unavoidable. Whether it’s a relationship breakdown or getting fired, we will all face some kind of hardship in our lives. But adapting how we view and approach these struggles might actually allow us to turn them into something meaningful. 

“Crises come into our lives, no matter how we may try to avoid them,” psychotherapist Mel Schwartz, LCSW, writes in Psychology Today. “They are troubling, unwanted experiences or events that take us way out of our comfort zone. Typically, crises result in some type of loss. The very nature of a crisis is antithetical to our core values of certainty and predictability as they vanish in an instant.”

Relish Being Pushed Out of Your Comfort Zone

Change and growth rarely happen when we’re comfortable. Schwartz argues that being nudged out of our comfort zone is key to seeing opportunity in crisis. 

Transforming our career or love life, for instance, usually takes a great deal of dedication and intention. “Crisis, on the other hand, removes the self-motivating requirement as it places us squarely outside of our familiar zone…[this] is where the opportunity lies,” he says. 

“Growth and fundamental levels of change only tend to occur when we are out of our comfort zone. So we might look at the crisis as a blessing in disguise, albeit an unwanted one.”

Yoram (Jerry) Wind, emeritus professor of marketing at Wharton, and entrepreneur Nitin Rakesh, who co-authored a book on transformations during crises, agree. They write: “Instead of viewing the present situation as a short-term necessary evil that we should try to leave behind as soon as possible and return to a comfortable pre-crisis past, we should ask how to use the current situation to speed up long overdue changes.”

Have you been meaning to leave your unfulfilling job but haven’t been able to summon the courage? Maybe you’ve always wanted to write a book, travel the world, or run a marathon, but got too comfortable with your daily routine and put it off. Being forced to shake things up might offer just the chance. 

Consider The Big Picture 

Another critical aspect of turning crisis into possibility is training yourself to think long-term. Your current crisis is not ideal, but it is just one moment in time. 

“To achieve self-empowerment requires looking beyond that snapshot and envisioning what door of potential has just flung open,” writes Schwartz. “Learning to look at the larger themes and patterns that set up these challenges will help develop a vantage point from which you may break through the struggle. In other words, what are the recurring stories of your life? What is your participation in this storyline?”

Maria Langan-Riekhof, Arex B. Avanni, and Adrienne Janetti produced a report about turning challenges into opportunities for Brookings. They write, “To turn an existing crisis into an opportunity often requires reframing the problem or looking at the issues through a different lens.” If possible, allow yourself that perspective — try and see the bigger picture. 

Remember Who and What Is Really Important 

Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT, provides these tips on applying this mindset in your own life. She offers the following five suggestions: 

1. Recognize your priorities. Crises can highlight what is most important to us so we see what truly matters.
2. Who is there? During a crisis, notice to whom you’re reaching out and who is there to support you. Foster these relationships!
3. Develop a support system. If you realize you don’t have the support system you want or need, how can you develop that?
4. Self assessment. Notice your strengths and areas for improvement: what stands out for you with where you excel in crisis?
5. Ask for help. Practice being okay with asking for help: we all need help sometimes!

Change Your Perspective

At the heart of turning crisis into opportunity is mental reframing. You don’t have to ignore the reality of the situation, but you can change how you view it. Use the experience of being out of your comfort zone to seize opportunities. Remind yourself to see the bigger picture and patterns in your life, and prioritise your support systems. 

If you’re struggling to turn a crisis into an opportunity, consider speaking with a licensed Talkspace therapist — a convenient and inexpensive way to make progress on your goals. 

The post 6 Ways to Turn a Crisis Into an Opportunity appeared first on Talkspace.

I look forward to the holidays every year — family, friends, gifts, merriment — yet every January I’m left feeling like I was run over by Santa’s sleigh. Was it all of the apple pie and sugar cookies or the underhanded insults from an unwelcome relative or guest? Either way, I’m always entering the New Year feeling exhausted, with an emotional hangover instead of energized — despite the time off work.

It’s no surprise that too much socializing and not enough recharging — lots of eating and drinking, little sleep and absolutely no exercise — can lead to problems. Often there are reunions that are filled with joy but make me slip into old dynamics and dwell on unresolved issues that bring up past trauma and stress. Add to all of this how expensive this time of year is, it’s easy to see why I’m left depleted. Below are three ways to avoid the holiday hangover.

Tips for Dealing with Stress and Depression Over the Holidays

According to the American Psychological Association, I’m not alone. Eighty percent of people anticipate increased stress over the holiday. There are many aspects of the holidays that can be triggering. And, According to Mayo Clinic, stress and depression often rear their heads during the holidays, and the impact can seep into the New Year.

So, now that we’re done with this festive — yet difficult and stressful — time of the year, what can we do to wind down, reenergize and refocus?

It’s important to focus on self-care and taking little steps throughout the day to minimize stress. A New Year is exciting because it’s a blank slate, but it can also be intimidating. Once work’s back in full swing, it can be challenging to keep the resolutions you’ve set. It’s overwhelming to think about making big changes, so try making small changes that will lead to a big impact. To get rid of my holiday hangover, I’ll be focusing on:

Exercising three times a week

The positive impact of exercise on mental health is no secret, and I can vouch for its benefits. As much as I don’t enjoy working out, I always feel better after I do. It’s the best way to clear my head and get my energy back up. During the busy holiday season, exercise routines often get shoved aside. Making the effort to get back into a workout routine, even if it’s something minimal each day, will help get you back into the swing of things.

Talking it out

Whenever I’m not feeling my best, I feel an additional layer of anxiety by keeping all of the feelings to myself. While I don’t always need to spill every detail, taking the time to process my feelings with someone else helps me better understand the situation and gain insight that I’ve likely missed by ruminating alone.

Talking to a therapist can be a great way to do this. Utilizing better problem-solving techniques can help you overcome the holiday hangover in the short term, and in general is a great way to establish better emotional wellness in your daily life.Maybe you’ve just neglected your long-term therapist during the busyness of the holidays, or maybe working with a licensed therapist is a resolution for the upcoming year. Wherever you’re at in the therapy process, take the time to talk it out with a professional this new year.

Giving myself space

One of the reasons I fall into a post-holiday slump is because I don’t pay attention to my own needs and feelings during the holiday season as much as I should. As an introvert, my alone time is key to my happiness, and I’m going to try and reclaim it for the rest of this winter. Set boundaries with your loved ones and maybe even schedule in some alone time to allow yourself the rest and relaxation you need to be successful.

Ultimately, keeping in touch with your own needs is a priority in the new year. Don’t neglect the self-care you’ve been putting aside and you’ll be on your way to getting over the holiday hangover.

The post Dealing With Hangover from the Holidays appeared first on Talkspace.

The idea of wiping the slate clean can feel liberating. At the same time, I like to think about change as evolution. Like peeling back a layer of an onion, the new decade is an opportunity to discover an even deeper, more authentic version of yourself.

Below are four tips and corresponding “action steps” to help you embrace the new decade and continue along your journey towards better mental health and living your best life.

1. Set Clear and Attainable Goals

There’s a lot that goes into starting a new habit or making a change — new schedules, new skills, new hobbies, new friends, new environments, and new ways to nourish your body. If you take on too much at once, it can feel frustrating and overwhelming.

It is important to set clear and attainable goals in order to set yourself up for success. According to Joanna Filidor, LMFT and Talkspace therapist, it is common for people to create a goal that, for most of us, is unattainable. She gives the common example of the “I will go to the gym every day” goal. “The main problem with setting a goal like this,” Filidor explained, “is it is based on an all or nothing mentality — I either go to the gym every day or I don’t go at all.” Instead, she recommends identifying a goal that is attainable taking into account your lifestyle, work and school commitments, family/friends, etc. For example, if you work one hour away, five days a week, have commitments with family/friends, go to school, etc, it might be difficult to go to the gym every day without burning out. A more appropriate goal, according to Filidor, could be “I will go to the gym at least three times per week.”

Action Step: Take one of your big goals for the next decade and break it up into smaller, bite-sized pieces.

2. Celebrate Your Accomplishments

As a recovering overachiever, my default is to dwell on everything I haven’t yet accomplished — my company hitting six-figures, for example — instead of celebrating everything I have accomplished — receiving my yoga teaching certification, becoming a life coach, starting graduate school, and becoming an entrepreneur, for example. Filidor finds it’s easier to be compassionate with ourselves when we remember that most of us can look back at our lives and think about things we did not accomplish. Feeling that twinge of disappointment is a universal experience.

In order to focus your attention on what you did accomplish, it can be helpful to set aside time to write out all of your accomplishments (no matter how small they may seem). Then, allow yourself to reflect on them and feel a sense of pride for what you have already achieved.

Action Step: Write a list of all of your accomplishments from the past decade and find a way to celebrate those.

3. Surrender Control

We often think that letting go of the past — for example, past relationships, jobs, and habits — is an essential step in moving forward towards our desired reality. However, it can be hard to “let go” of the past when our hearts are still tender, like after a break up or having been laid off from a job.

Filidor believes it’s a misconception that the process of “letting go” is something that can be directed. “Although there are things that can be done to help move that process along,” explained Filidor, “ultimately it will happen when it happens.” Therefore, learning to surrender control and be gentle with yourself through the healing process is critical as you step into this new decade.

Action Step: Give yourself permission to take however long you need to heal your heart.

4. Chat With Your Future Self

I find it helpful to take a step back from my specific goals, in order to get a clearer picture on the overarching mission and vision I have for my life. By going through visualization exercises, meditating, and creating vision boards, I am able to connect with my core values. Only when I’m clear on my core values will I be able to set goals that are aligned with the direction I want to go.

Filidor likes to have people talk to their older self through letter-writing. She asks them to imagine they are talking to themselves in 5/10/15 years, and encourages them to think about what they would like that older self to have accomplished. She also asks them to identify what they believe their older self values in life. Finally, she asks them to imagine their older self giving their current self advice on how to achieve these long term goals. It’s a simple yet powerful exercise to make sure the goals you set for the new decade are right for you and your unique journey.

Action Steps:

• Write a letter to your older self 5/10/15 years in the future and what you hope they will have accomplished and what their core values are.
• Write a letter from your older self to your current self about how to achieve these long-term goals.

The beginning of the new decade may greet you with many conflicting emotions. It is the perfect opportunity to pause and reflect on what you have accomplished and where you would like to take your life.

Be open to the possibilities. Be intentional with your goals. And most of all, be kind to yourself through the process.

The post 4 Ways to Start Fresh in the New Decade appeared first on Talkspace.

He’s right. I realized this year that setting my resolutions always feels motivating, but shortly after I’m left feeling disappointed and down once I notice I’ve been setting the same ones for years on end. Once I reflect on my progress — or lack thereof — I’m overwhelmed by feelings of failure and inadequacy, which can lead to a negative spiral and not conducive to me reaching my goals.

Why Resolutions Become Disappointing

This year I asked myself why this happens. Could it be that I don’t really want to reach the fitness goal I’ve set for the past five years? Or maybe I’m busy prioritizing other things that are more fulfilling than of changing jobs or finally cleaning our storage area, or maybe (most likely) I’m so busy thinking about my list of positive goals that I don’t actually get around to putting them in motion.

There’s no point in setting the same goals only to feel disappointed — as Albert Einstein (might have) said — insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, this year, I’m shifting my strategy and focusing on being more present, without the pressure to do anything other than reach my potential. It’s vague, but it’s clear. I’m taking pressure off myself and opening up space to simply live. It’ll likely help me enjoy 2020 more, and, I’m guess, you might benefit from the same.

According to an article on Bustle on why New Year’s Eve makes people sad, self-improvement resolutions make people who struggle with mental illness feel like they are inadequate, especially if they don’t live up to the standards they set. Since a common symptom of depression, for those with the mental illness, is low self-esteem, comparing oneself to others or assessing their achievements against your own can feel particularly icky. Add that to the fact that those with depression often have a negatively skewed self-perception, it’s no wonder resolutions aren’t as motivating as you’d hope them to be.

How to Keep Realistic Resolutions

Knowing myself, I’ll still make a short list this year — change is hard, and we’re creatures of habit, another reason it’s difficult to take on resolutions. The saying “New year, new you” is unrealistic, but small changes can go a long way toward helping you meet long-term goals. So, to make my resolutions stick, I’ll be switching up my strategy and creating realistic resolutions by:

• Making short resolutions
• Planning my follow-through
• Checking in with myself and having someone else do the same to keep me accountable
• Celebrating little victories
• Giving myself grace to slip up

It’s likely I still won’t run a half marathon, and my box of college papers will remain in the storage unit collecting more dust. But hopefully this time next year I’ll be OK with that, rather than beating myself up for what I haven’t done. I look forward to being able to look back at what I did accomplish. And that just might make my husband join my resolution bandwagon in 2021.

The post Why Are Resolutions Always So Icky? appeared first on Talkspace.

But there’s something most of these resolutions have in common: they’re usually extrinsically motivated, not intrinsically motivated. Meaning: they’re generally driven by some kind of external reward, like a lower number on the scale or hitting a race personal record (PR).

Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, means that you’re driven by an inner desire. That is, you’re driven by knowing something will make you happy or healthy. Extrinsic motivation is OK for some situations, but it’s trickier to rely on it consistently, since it flames out faster and sometimes relies on externalities that are outside of your control.

It’s OK to have extrinsic goals, but here’s how you can harness your intrinsic, or internal, motivation to nail those resolutions — a way to help make them stick.

Figure out your why

Think about your goals and why you’re setting them. Is the motivation coming from you or an external source? For example, the motivation for a goal like weight loss could actually be culturally driven to fit in with a socially-accepted body type, rather than simply your desire to be healthier. If you’re gunning for a race PR, is it entirely for your own satisfaction or are you looking for validation that you’re a fast runner or so you can get compliments from friends? (This writer is guilty as charged.)

Assess your needs

Often, our New Year’s resolutions are reflective of what we feel is missing in our lives or what we value. If one of your intentions for the new year is to join a volunteer group, this may be showing that you place importance on connection and making a difference. “Having clarity as to what we value and what is important to us will help us create goals that are intrinsic,” says Talkspace Therapist Joanna Filidor, LMFT.

Find what’s fun

If you’ve figured out that you’re trying to lose weight to fit a cultural standard, you might want to reframe your goal as “getting stronger.” What’s fun to you about getting stronger? If you’re tempted to join Orangetheory because everyone else is doing it, stop and think if you really enjoy the workout. The workout you enjoy is the one you’ll be most likely to return to and stick with. Do the physical activity you’ve always enjoyed rather than the one that’s the latest fad.

Remove the outcome

If you’ve signed up for a race, and you want to PR, that’s a valid goal — but give it an intrinsic spin, too. It’s not often that we’d suggest imagining yourself failing, but bear with us for a second. Picture yourself on race day, falling just short of your PR. How can you use intrinsic motivation so it’s not just all about that PR? Did you feel strong the whole time, not hitting the dreaded wall? Did you PR in fun, high-fiving spectators on the course? Did you feel present the entire time, really taking in how you felt as well as your surroundings? Focus your training on what you’ll do to reach these goals to remove your attachment to an outcome so that you can enjoy the process no matter what.

Get curious

Think back to the last time you really got absorbed in a hobby, learning everything you could about knitting, for example. You were so interested and curious that you achieved milestones, like creating a sweater, without even thinking twice about them. If you’ve always been curious about meditating, try learning everything you can about its benefits. The more you know about why meditation can be so beneficial, the more likely you will be to do it. Use your natural curiosity to explore your resolution.

Take time to reflect

What many unsuccessful resolutions miss out on is reflection. We’re not talking about “reflecting” on your resolution and deciding it’s not for you and giving up on it. We’re talking about some good honest thinking about your progress and how you might alter your plan to meet your goal. Even if you’ve fumbled along the way, take into account your wins, too. It’s those wins that will keep you motivated to keep going. “If at any point a person finds themselves losing motivation, it can help to remember why you are doing it in the first place,” says Filidor.

We want you to be successful with whatever your resolutions are this year! Being Intrinsically motivated will help you dig deep when that motivation inevitably wanes — it’ll help you find your resolve to push on. You’re relying on your own power instead of drawing it from an external source, and you should be proud to recognize what you can achieve.

The post How Intrinsic Motivation Can Help You Outsmart New Years Resolutions appeared first on Talkspace.

A lot of people look for monday motivation to start the week off strong. And they aren’t alone. “It’s a big transition from a warm, cozy bed to the reality of our new day,” said Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT and Talkspace therapist. “Mondays can be an extra challenging time with yet another transition from the weekend of free time to the structure of the work week.” She finds it can be helpful for people to establish a Monday morning routine to manage the stress of these transitions and the impact on anxiety and mood. Instead of falling victim to our culture of busyness, morning routines can help our minds and bodies adjust to what we need to do and prepare ourselves for the day ahead.

Below are five tips and journal prompts to help you establish a motivational Monday morning routine to get your week started off on the right foot:

1. Do What Works Best for You

There’s a ton of advice out there about how to create a motivation morning routine. From drinking warm lemon water and going to the gym to meditating and writing in a gratitude journal —it can be hard to know where to start. How am I supposed to make time for all of this? What happens if I miss a day? Is it bad that I am not a journaler?

According to Hinkle, the key to creating a motivational Monday morning routine that sticks is knowing what works best for you. So, for example, if you are not typically a “morning person,” don’t beat yourself up that you aren’t popping out of bed at 5am to hit the gym. Perhaps some gentle stretching or breathing exercises that you can do from the comfort of your bed is a more supportive way to start the day.

“The facts are, we all have different times of day when we’re at our best,” said Hinkle. “It’s important to refrain from judging ourselves about when our peak moments are; more importantly, know what works best for you.”

Monday Motivation Journal Prompt: When do you typically feel at your best and how can your motivational morning routine support that?

2. Stay Flexible

It can feel frustrating when you oversleep or run out of time for your typical morning rituals that start your day off on the right foot. Like…when I scroll too long on Instagram and run out of time to make my smoothie in the morning. This often sends me into a funk for the day. I have to remember to be kind to myself and stay flexible during the ebbs and flows of life, no matter how big or small they are.

Hinkle is a fan of flexible thinking and believes that having back-up plans can help motivational morning routines from becoming an obligation or another stressor in the day. “Ideally your routine leaves ample time for human error and times you’re not always moving as quickly,” explained Hinkle. She suggests hanging a list of the Monday morning rituals that are most important to you someplace obvious — the bathroom mirror, for example — and doing those first. Creating reminders on your calendar or using a robot assistant can be helpful, too.

Monday Motivation Journal Prompt: What the #1, non-negotiable element of your morning routine?

3. Prioritize Your Needs

Everyone has different needs when it comes to their morning routine. Figure out what’s not currently working for you and design your motivational morning routine around how to support your specific needs. Ask yourself:

• Are you feeling too rushed in the mornings?
• Do you wake up feeling tired?
• Do you have a lot of anxiety in the morning?

Your needs may also vary over time or change based on other factors such as the change from one season to the next. For example, Hinkle encourages her clients to incorporate more light and time outside in their routines during the winter months, when possible, since it tends to be a darker, more isolated time of year. Hinkle also finds some form of physical activity to be beneficial. It could take the form of a short walk, some yoga/stretching, or a quick routine on the mat at home. She adds that your “main goal is to start the day feeling less stressed and overwhelmed.”

Monday Motivation Journal Prompt: What is your underlying motivation for establishing a morning routine?

4. Start Small

Especially if you are new to motivational morning routines, it can be tempting to try to squeeze in a lot of new rituals at once. Try to remember to start small, even if this means simply going to bed 15 minutes earlier so you can wake up not feeling rushed in the morning.

“Changing everything at once typically doesn’t work!” said Hinkle. She recommends starting with one slight change such as not pressing snooze on your alarm, setting aside 10 minutes to have coffee with a loved one, or dancing to your favorite song before you leave for work. Morning routines don’t need to be elaborate or time-consuming to be effective.

Monday Motivation Journal Prompt: What is one small change you can make that will enhance your morning?

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Be patient with yourself through the process of changing habits and establishing a new morning routine. These things take time and missing a meditation here or there doesn’t make you less of a good person. Every morning is the chance to see the world through new eyes. You may be full of energy some days, and not others. It is all ok. Learning to dance to the rhythm of your own natural energy cycles can be the greatest gift you give to yourself.

Monday Motivation Journal Prompt: When you are feeling down, what helps you to boost your mood?

We are an increasingly busy culture that values productivity above all else. By slowing down in the morning and creating a routine that you look forward to every day, you are helping set yourself up for your version of success. Whether that’s feeling grounded, motivated, or closer to loved ones, motivational Monday morning routines may be just the medicine you need to get rid of those pesky Sunday Scaries and start the week off feeling your best.

The post Your Morning Routine for #MondayMotivation appeared first on Talkspace.

Intrinsic motivation does more than just get you to learn and take action, it also results in more sustained interest, excitement, confidence, persistence, self-esteem, and performance over time, which is why it is a feeling that many people seek to foster within themselves. Fortunately, there are ways to understand, increase, and build intrinsic motivation. With some helpful guidance from some of Talkspace’s licensed therapists, we present them to you below.

What is Intrinsic Motivation?

Intrinsic motivation is a feeling that comes from within and refers to a person’s behavior being driven by an internal desire, in contrast to extrinsic motivation, which is focused on external rewards such as praise or increased compensation. Research shows intrinsic motivation involves seeking out and engaging in activities that you find challenging and interesting on their own accord. In fact, external rewards for an internally rewarding activity can lessen its intrinsic benefits.

To put this concept into perspective, think about your motivation right now reading this piece. Do you have a genuine interest in psychology and want to gain a better understanding about this particular topic? If so, you are acting based on an intrinsic desire to acquire knowledge. Are you reading this for some kind of report you’re not excited about or for your job? If so, you are likely motivated by wanting to avoid a bad grade or for the possibility of recognition in the workplace. When you do something just for the pure enjoyment of the activity itself, you are intrinsically motivated.

How Intrinsic Motivation Impacts Our Daily Lives

Whether you are conscious of it or not, intrinsic motivation is something you experience time and time again. Whether learning new skills, graduating from school, or growing your career, everyone has different motivations and perspectives on what is rewarding to them, and while some might be fueled internally when going after a goal, others can see the same activity as having more extrinsic benefits. Both types of motivation can get you to take action, but intrinsic motivation tends to drive the best outcomes and satisfaction.

Relying on extrinsic rewards too often can lead to loss of value in the rewards and can even diminish the feeling of intrinsic value over time. When your behaviors are motivated internally, it increases positive emotions, generates feelings of satisfaction and meaning, and can even help a person feel like progress is being made each time you accomplish something. This can help improve and build contentment and confidence in the long term.

Our Therapists Advice on How to Increase Intrinsic Motivation

To increase your intrinsic motivation, consider incorporating the following strategies:

• Evaluate your motivations
  Start by evaluating your current motivations. “First, think about why the goal is important to you and write that down. Start with external rewards (avoiding food-related ones), and you’ll see a smoother transition to intrinsic rewards,” according to Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT.
  
  
• Chase your passion
  Seek challenges and goals that have a personal meaning to help sustain interest over time. “Find things that you’re passionate about and find ways to do them more,” according to Rachel O’Neill, Ph.D. LPCC-S.
  
  
• Make an impact
  Look for ways to have a broader impact on other people or the environment around you. “Individuals who feel they are working toward a greater good, or something larger than themselves, do have an easier time staying motivated. Look for what you think might be your higher good and move forward,” according to Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, CFTP.
  
  
• Forget the rewards
  While recognition can reinforce and increase internal motivation, it is best to limit outside motivations as much as possible. “The best way to increase intrinsic motivation is to decrease the extrinsic reward,” according to Christin Tolman, LCPC.

Intrinsic Motivation Can Improve Your Life and Increase Success

If you aim to improve your performance at work or find more enjoyment in your personal life, it is important to find motivation from within. When you are engaged and excited, you can expect to experience sustained interest, excitement, confidence, persistence, self-esteem, and performance over time, which is why it is a feeling that many people seek to foster. To increase this type of motivation, assess what is important to you today and try to pursue goals that have a personal meaning or can positively impact the world around you.

Over time, you can better motivate yourself internally and find lasting contentment.

The post What is Intrinsic Motivation? How to Increase It, According to a Therapist appeared first on Talkspace.

During a slump, you might feel unmotivated, lost, unproductive, angry, annoyed, or stuck…which can engender a whole lot of negative emotions. And, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but few aspects of life are immune to slumps.. If you don’t take action to make positive changes, you might just fall deeper and deeper into the slump, in which case it’ll be harder to pick yourself back up.

Luckily, there are plenty of steps you can take to get out of a slump, no matter what kind of slump you find yourself in. Here are 3 different types of common slumps, as well as how to get out of them.

Career Slump

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in the workforce for 2 years or 20 years. Slumps at work happen, and they can cause your productivity and happiness to plummet. But don’t worry, being in a slump doesn’t mean your career is doomed.

How to get out of a career slump

There’s no single way to climb out of a career slump, but here are some suggestions that can help jumpstart your efforts:

• Figure out what aspect of your career is slumping
  Are you down because you’re super stressed about a project you’re working on, or are you having an identity crisis and rethinking your whole career path? Figure out what’s bugging you, and address it. If your slump is caused by being bored at work, there are steps you can take to change. Speak with your supervisor about taking on more responsibilities, or see if you can get involved in a project with a cross functional team. If your slump is because you’re stressed and overwhelmed, it’s a good idea to discuss that with your supervisor, too.
• Start networking
  So many people talk about networking that it seems to be just a mythical buzzword, but it really can be beneficial. Networking with other professionals —whether they work at your company or they work in a different industry — can help you get a different point of view. It’s a great way to get career advice firsthand. Try meeting up for coffee with someone you really admire, or someone who has job you’d like to have one day. You can also attend networking events or happy hours pertinent to your industry.
• Have a change of scenery
  If you’re a remote worker or freelancer, try a change of scenery. For example, if you work from home, switching things up and heading to a coffee shop to buckle down for the day can give you some newfound motivation. Additionally, you could try out a coworking space or plan a meetup with other remote workers you know.
• Speak with a career coach
  Career coaches are the experts — you should turn here if you’re feeling especially lost or if your slump seems never ending. They can help you explore other options and figure out what your true goals and values are when it comes to your career.

Mental Health Slump

If you deal with mental health conditions, it’s (unfortunately) natural to go through slumps and some times are simply harder than others. For example, you might be feeling like your depression is kicking it up a notch, or your anxiety is higher than usual.

How to get out of a mental health slump

Similar to the work slump, there’s not one way to pull yourself out of a career slump, check out these suggestions to help get you feeling better:

• Make sure you’re not skimping on self-care
  You may already have some favorite self-care activities, but if you don’t, try some of these ideas: Journaling, making lists of things you’re grateful for, meditating, calling up a loved one, having some phone free time, or exercising. Everyday, carve out a good amount of time to do at least one of these things.
• Go back to the basics
  When you’re feeling poorly, it’s easy to let yourself go and forget about the basics of taking care of yourself and being healthy. Making some simple changes can have a big impact. Make sure you drink a lot of water, eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep (or at least try to). If you take meds, remember to take them!
• Ask for help
  Don’t be embarrassed to get a family member or friend involved. Tell them that you’re going through a rough time and that you need extra support. It can also be nice to have regular check ins with other friends who struggle with mental health issues, to connect with someone who really gets what you’re going through. You can both provide a shoulder to cry on as well as hold each other accountable for making positive changes in life.
• Know when to bring in a professional
  If things start to get really bad, be sure to loop in your therapist. If you don’t have a therapist and you’re struggling mentally, it can be very helpful to get a mental health professional involved. If you’re feeling suicidal, please don’t hestitate to call a hotline like the Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Sexual Slump

Sexual slumps are common, especially in long term relationships or marriages where boredom tends to hit. Sex is an important aspect of romantic relationships, so you should try to address the problem before it really takes a toll on your partnership. Alternatively, a single person might be going through a sexual slump if they’re experiencing a dry spell or only having unfulfilling, boring sex (who wants that!?)

How to get out of a sexual slump

Just like slumps in your career and mental health, there’s not a silver bullet when it comes to getting out of a sexual slump, but these suggestions should give your sexual slump a little umph.

• Figure out if there’s a root cause
  Sometimes, the cause of a sexual slump doesn’t really have to do with sex, per se. For example, maybe you and your partner have been fighting a lot recently, or maybe there are some trust issues. Or, hey, maybe it’s a work slump that’s all consuming and crossing over into the bedroom. Address these problems first, and then the sex part might come a little easier.
• Make sex a priority
  Want to have good sex? Make it a priority. If you’re in a relationship where you and your partner have gotten “too busy” or “too tired” for sex, figure out how you can make time for sexy time. It might mean cutting back on TV or social media at night (which definitely isn’t a bad thing anyway). Decide together what works and what you can sacrifice to make time for intimacy.
• Ask for what you want
  This is a simple idea that’s not always so simple to execute. It can be embarrassing or nerve wracking to be truly open about your desires, but not asking for what you want in bed can not only contribute to a sexual slump, but can also harm your mental health. When you communicate openly and honestly, it can inspire your partner to do the same. This piece of advice is also applicable to singles having casual sex. Just because you aren’t in a committed relationship with your sex parter it doesn’t mean you can’t ask for what you want!
• Try something different
  Share your turn ons, fantasies, and kinks with your partner, and see if they’re down to try something new. Something new could be as simple as having sex in a different room of the house instead of the bedroom. Spicing things up is definitely a fun and effective way to get out of a sexual slump. If you’re single, you can spice up your solo sex life by treating yourself to a new sex toy to hold you over until you find the right person to bring to bed. (Masturbation is also great for your mental health, FYI).
• Consider casual (safe) sex
  If you’re single and having a dry spell, consider hooking up outside of a relationship. Under the right circumstances, casual sex can be just fine for your mental health. It can even be empowering, fun, and stress relieving. Put yourself out there to try to meet new people, and have an open mind. But if you are having casual sex, always remember to practice safe sex — use protection, talk about STIs and consent, and get tested.

We hope you feel more equipped and ready to power through whatever slump you might be in. You got this!

The post How to Get Out of a Slump appeared first on Talkspace.

We know the things that we have to do for ourselves — make healthier food choices, call our friends, go outside, get some exercise, disconnect from toxic people — but when it comes down to it, it’s easier said than done, and there’s a good reason for that. In fact, there are a few good reasons, many of which I’ve seen in my own therapy practice.

We’re Scared to Fail

Many times our fear of failure keeps us from even beginning to make change. We talk about it a lot, we think about it a lot, and we may even really, really want to do it. But the fear paralyzes us at the starting line.

For example, one of my patients has been in a bit of a professional standstill, and has had a hard time finding work that pays well and that he enjoys. He has been talking for a while about going back to school in order to change careers and increase his job prospects. While he and I have only been working together for a few months, he said that this is something he’s been wanting to do for a few years. Eventually, in one session when he brought it up again, I asked him what was stopping him from beginning the application process. At first he said that he didn’t know, but when we explored it together he admitted that he was worried he might not get in to the schools he applied to.

This is not an isolated case, fear in many ways can hold us back from doing what we want to do. We’re stuck while our goal seems like it’s miles away.

We Are Comfortable

In many unhealthy relationships, loved ones may wonder why someone won’t “just leave” or “just get a divorce.” But, that’s not always an easy thing to do. I have seen a patient who has stayed with her husband for over two years after finding out he had been cheating for majority of their relationship. She states that she could never forgive him, that she may even have fallen out of love with him. And yet, despite the lack of trust, and nights spent at family and friends — not wanting to go home — she hasn’t filed for divorce, or asked him to consider marital counseling.

We stay where we’re at sometimes, just because it’s comfortable.Consciously or not, people stay in accustomed situations even when they’re not happy. Exploring this in therapy, and why you may be acting against your best interests, might help you figure out what’s keeping you from making different, possibly better choices in your life.

We Feel We Haven’t Earned It

When it comes to eating disorders, many of the people I encountered while working the Helpline at the National Eating Disorders Association, revealed that they knew that they had to eat more, eat differently, or engage in some other healthier behavior as a part of their recovery, but couldn’t. Most often, they found that the message they had been telling themselves was that they “hadn’t earned” the healthier behavior yet, either because they haven’t exercised enough, or because they ate some other food earlier in the day or the night before.

The same idea applies to many other aspects of our lives and our mental health. If we know that we need to take some time to destress from work, we may be hesitant to do so because we feel like we haven’t been working hard enough to warrant that reward.

Dr. Clayton R. Cook, Ph.D., Associate Professor in the school psychology program at the University of Minnesota said that it’s important to unlearn this way of thinking. “We live in a culture that inundates us with unhealthy messages…and values working long hours, often at the expense of a person’s well-being,” he told Forbes. In moments where we feel unworthy of the healthy choice, it’s good to remind ourselves what we would tell anyone else — that they are worthy, and therefore, so are we.

Choosing things that are good for us isn’t always as easy as it seems, even when we know the right thing to do. But if we explore the reasons why this may be, it can help us take some steps in the right direction and make better choices in the future.

The post Why Doing What’s Good For Us Is So Hard appeared first on Talkspace.